I board the 8:00 pm bus home after work. When I pull out my phone to listen to some music, I see a message from Teena.
Usually I take the 6:00 pm or 7:00 pm bus. That is when I would be travelling with Teena. She had texted me today asking whether I would be late.
Yes, I was late today. One of those days where I was hauled with work at the end of the day! Moments of frustration, those!
Now, sitting in the bus, I think about me and my life as I turn the music on. I am Neena, the average software professional, trying to think I am happy with my life. Am I happy? Yes! Can it get better? Yes! I need to quit my job and look for greener pastures.
Thoughts kept running wild.
Ten minutes later the bus halted at my bus stop and I got down, putting an end to the random thoughts. I pulled out my earphones and placed it in my bag. It is another ten minute walk to my house from the bus stop. The place isn't very crowded as usual. A mother and her kid were waiting for a bus on the other side of the road, a guy standing by the lamppost, two auto-rickshaws parked nearby waiting to be hired and shopkeepers in their respective shops.
Whilst I crossed the road, I felt that the guy standing near the lamppost was looking right at me. I started walking towards my home.
I walk for three minutes when I reach a bridge en route. Curiously, I turn back to kill that awkward feeling of someone following me.
It wasn't a feeling! Someone was indeed behind me, some 15 feet away. The same guy who was standing under the lamppost!
I decided to cross the road, only to check if he was indeed following me. He crossed the road too. My heartbeat amplified. I increased my pace. Glad I was to reach the junction. I turned to check if he was still there and was relieved to not find him anywhere.
I got into a shop to buy some grocery. After getting them packed I got out of the shop to find the man standing on the other side of the road like a vulture waiting for its prey. I took a left turn and started walking. From the corner of my eyes I saw that he too started walking.
Now, I had to enter a dark alley, to reach home. I saw a group of trade union workers at a distance, people whom I see daily, and thought I'd tell about this guy to them. When I reached them I discovered that they were not the usual people. I continued walking, scared!
Just before reaching the alley, I opened my bag to get hold of my pepper spray. Not there! I frantically stirred my hand inside all compartments of the bag. No, it wasn't there!
It can't be that I didn't take it. Yeah, I had never had to use the pepper spray since I bought it 8 months ago. But I was certain it was in the bag.
Should I make a run for my house? It would barely take 3 minutes. But that would take him to my house, a risk that I couldn't take.
Should I call my mom? And we could walk home together? Nope. That too would take him to my house. Plus it would make mom tensed.
I called Vinay. No answer. I dialed again. Still no answer!
"Damn!"
Gathering all courage, I decided to walk.
I could see someone at the other end of the road. All I had to do was reach the other end.
I walked, fast.
I was almost halfway, when he called me from right behind, "Excuse me? What is your name?" he asked with his hand on his pant's zipper!
My hands were still in the bag, searching for anything that could come in handy. And yes! I felt my hand on the cool metal of the pepper spray bottle. I popped opened the bottle cap inside the bag, held the bottle firmly, turned around, sprayed pepper on his face and replied "Why do you want to know?"
I wasn't even certain where the nozzle of the spray was facing. Yet, I managed to hit bull's-eye! Right in his eye!
He paced away, stumbling as he walked.
He wanted to know my name! Duh! As if it mattered! What's in a name for such rogues?
I had a feeling of accomplishment. I was happy I could use my pepper spray. I hurriedly walked to my house. My mom was waiting for me at the balcony. How relieved!
That night, I was flooded by what-if thoughts. I hadn't told my mom about the incident, and decided not to.
'What-if I didn't have the pepper spray with me?'
'What-if the nozzle was not aimed correctly?'
'What-if there were a group of men? Would the pepper spray suffice? No!'
'What-if he had still followed me and found my house?'
This and many other What-ifs!
***
PS: True story! This happened to a friend last week in Trivandrum City at 8:15pm. She has now decided to leave everyday by the 6:00 pm bus.
PPS: Yes, there were a few things she could have done, like call for help at the junction, or call her mom on phone. But for some reason, at that moment, the thought process is different.
PPPS: Keep the pepper spray handy.