Monday, August 22, 2011

Home SWEETEST Home - Part VI

And thus, all thanks to Munni, the seeds that would grow out to be a very strong friendship (or even more?) were sown.

The seeds did grow into a beautiful plant. SMS was the main mode of communication between us. We used to text each other almost always. The only times when we don’t text is when she went to class. Once, she had smuggled her phone into her class. On that particular day we texted each other the whole day long. At times we used to call each other. Close we must have got, but I had never asked her whether she had a boyfriend. Now, I took it for granted that she doesn’t have one, though I dare not confirm until I get it out from her. After all, as the saying goes, “Never trust a lady”!
We even had plans of going out some place like the Brindaavan’s, but our schedules never matched to favour an outing. The Infosys training schedule will not allow anyone to get time for leisure. May be someday we will find time to go out.
(There are people, reading this blog, who even suggested places that I could take her out on a first date. ‘Silent Shores’ was a good suggestion by Anurag). J
Earlier, I had requested Munni not to tell anyone about this relationship. I don’t know why, but I did not want to give it any publicity. She used to always ask me to propose Jasmine and used to black mail me that she would tell it out to my friends if I don’t. And one day she did give a hint to my friends that I had a crush. Thanks to her, that is all she told. She let them know that I never disclosed the identity of my crush to anyone.
From then on, for two weeks continuous these friends used to pester me, head to toe, to know who that girl was. I never spoke a letter!
Nevertheless, Munni used to still encourage me to propose her.
“Rubesh, she too likes you. May be she is waiting to hear it from you”, she said.
“No way, she doesn’t like me”, I said.
“See, she always wants to talk to you, she likes your company. That means she likes you”, she argued.
“She likes me, but it is just as a friend. Nothing more than that”, I told.
“Only a girl can understand a girl. I’m telling you, she likes you”, she said.
“Whatever it is, I’m not proposing her”, I confirmed.
“But why?” she enquired.
“See, I don’t how to put it; I have this thing in mind that the next proposal I make should be the last ever” I said.
Munni ran out of words. After some while she continued “See the first time you propose her…”
“Whoa…! Hold on…” I interrupted.
“Did you say propose for the first time? Does that mean that there is going to be a second and third time?” I enquired.
“Let me finish”, she told.
“The first time you propose her, she is going to say ‘No’ for sure. I can bet anything on that. All girls are like that. She wants to test whether you really mean it. She will only be convinced that you like her if you ask her for the second or third time. And from what little I know about Jasmine, she will say no ten times and all these ten times she says no, she really likes you”, she enlightened me.
“Duhhhh… Girls!!!” I commented.
“And girls like it when boys go to them time and again and say I love you. That is why they say ‘No’” she said.
“You dumb girls! If the girl says ‘Yes’, then we boys are ready to say I love you all through our life, idiot” I said.
She just laughed out.
Then she told “Anyway, you don’t expect her to come and say anything to you. It is not going to happen. You are the one who has to go and tell her”.
“That is one thing I haven’t understood in all these years. Why is it that it is we boys who always have to take the first step?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but it is like that”, she replied.
She made it crystal clear to me that if things have to move on then I had to take the next step. And I made it crystal clear to her that I will not.
Over the days, when I gave it a second or third or fourth or umpteenth thought I came to conclude that what Munni said was right. I should take the first step. I will have to ask her. Then I told Munni that I will ask her, but only once. If she says no, then that’s the end of it. I will not ask her another time. She was so delighted on hearing this news. She tried to convince me to propose her time and again until you get the truth out of her. I didn’t agree to that at any cost. Then she told me to go ahead and proceed. Rest we will see.
So it was then that I thought of proposing Jasmine. Now I had to decide when and where it should take place.
I happened to be talking to my sister the next day and she told me that she would be going home on 26th. Her study holidays were beginning. I had not seen my sister ever since I joined Infosys. Such being the case, I decided to go home for that weekend. Emily had already decided to go home to attend her friend’s sister’s wedding that particular weekend. Now I had to book my tickets for my journey on 28th. Even though most of the bus was free, I booked seat number 18 so I could travel with sweet memories of the previous journey. It was the same bus, the “Payyanur” one, leaving Mysore at 9.45pm. Emily had booked tickets for the 8:30 pm Ernakulam bus.
It was the next day while chatting with Jasmine that I came to know that she too was going home on 28th. Cool, so one more overnight journey with her, I thought! But it was not to be. She had booked tickets for another bus at 10:00 pm. I was saddened. She had told me that she had booked it along with her friends. Damn, if only I had known beforehand! Anyway, I knew that I could meet her on the 28th someplace in Mysore. She told me that she would reach Mysore bus stand at 9:00 pm. I told her that I will be around there at that time and we shall meet.
On 28th at 7:00 pm, Emily and I got into the city bus from the campus. I messaged Jasmine saying that I had left campus. We decided to meet at 9:00 pm near the bus stand. But her friends would be there along with her. I had to get her alone to make the next move. 
Emily would later be accompanied by another friend of ours. We had our dinner at a nearby restaurant. At 8.30 pm their bus arrived and they had left. Now it was almost time to meet Jasmine. She had texted me that she was on her way. Now I was waiting quite nervously, thinking how to present it to her. Yes, I was thinking about it over a week without coming down to any conclusion. If it were in a movie, a love song would have done the trick.
She messaged me that she was in front of the bus stand. I called her up. I asked her where exactly she was, and enquired how many friends were with her. She told that there were four people with her. Then I told her that I want to talk to her, alone.
“Er, it’s ok. I’ll be here”, she replied.
I went to meet her. Boy, was she looking gorgeous? My heart was thumping hard inside. I still had no clue as to what to tell her. She introduced me to her friends. I greeted everyone and after petty talks Jasmine told them she would meet them here at 9:20 pm. I looked at her, frowning.
She understood. “OK, we’ll meet at 9:40 pm”, she corrected.
It was already 9:05 pm. I had no time!
Then we split up from the group.
“What did you want to say?” she asked.
As if she didn’t know!
“Yeah, I’ll come to that. Did you have your dinner?” I asked.
“Yep, I had dinner”, she replied.
So I had to take her to some other place. Ice-cream!
“Come, let’s go somewhere nice”, I told.
“Where?” she asked.
“Ice-cream!” I replied.
“Wow. I love ice-creams”, she added.
I smiled. We started walking to an ice-cream parlour. Not the best of places for a proposal, but I was out of options. I just wanted to get it done with. We placed our orders and talked. I can’t recall anything that I had talked to her prior to the proposal. Our ice-cream came. Now was the time!
“I like you”, I told her.
She stopped with her ice-cream and looked right up at my face. I dint know my heart had so much energy. It was pumping as if it wanted to come out!
Nobody talked anything.
“I mean, eh… I really like you. I guess you understand what I mean”, I said. Damn, I was not getting any words.
She didn’t say anything.
I continued, “Please don’t get me wrong. I know we have known each other only for a very little time. But from how much I know you, you are a very nice person and eh…”
“Why me?” she interrupted. I was glad she responded. “You may know hundred’s of girls at Infosys or otherwise. Why me from amongst them all?” she asked.
No answer. I had no idea how to answer that. And I started to get a feeling that her response was going to be negative.
“I don’t know that, Jasmine, it’s just I felt it for you what I haven’t felt for the other hundred’s of girls”, I told.
“See Rubesh…” she started.
“And here comes how a girl rejects a proposal”, I thought to myself.
“I do like you, but it was never anything more than friendship kind of liking. You are a very good person. I like you for that. That is the first reason that I accepted your friendship”, she said.
I had lost half my life by then. I was recalling Munni’s words.
She continued, “Please don’t feel bad. Please don’t. I really want to continue a good friendship with you. I’m so sorry if…”
“No, no, it is fine. It’s all cool. I am the one who should be sorry”, I interrupted.
“May be I shouldn’t have thought beyond friendship. But, Jasmine, I do truly like you. Changing my feelings for you back to friendship, I cannot guarantee. I’ll try my best. But the fact remains I like you”, I added.
“See Rubesh…” she started.
“It’s OK, Jasmine. I was never expecting a yes anyway”, I interrupted. “You don’t need to be sorry”.
“I…” she started but didn’t say anything.
No one spoke after that. We finished with our ice-creams.
We started walking to the bus stand. No one spoke for a long time.
“This is ridiculous”, I thought.
“When are you returning back?” I asked her.
She was in some other world. She replied after thinking for some time.
“Errr… On Sunday night”, she said.
That was the only dialogue between us in the 10 minutes since the proposal in the ice-cream parlour.
Her friends were already there at the bus-stand.
“So, finished proposing?” one of her friend’s asked.
I looked up at her giving the “What the hell?” expression.
“Oh, shut up! We were just having some chit-chat”, she replied.
“Yeah, yeah, we know that”, her friends mocked.
I was in total confusion. Did she tell her friends that I was going to propose? Damn!
“They are just joking”, she told me.
“Yeah, I get the joke”, I told, still confused.
I talked to all of her friends but found it difficult to have a direct conversation with Jasmine.
It was already 9:50 pm and my bus still hadn’t arrived. I was cursing that bus. Now, is definitely not the time for that bus to come late!
But even on that night, the bus came a little late. A little above 35 minutes late! Same applies to her bus. But we never talked to each other in those 35 minutes. At last the bus arrived. I bid good-bye to all of her friends. Then I looked at Jasmine. She tried to smile.
“Bye”, I told her.
“I’ll see you off” she said and walked with me to the bus.
Other people were getting their tickets verified.
“Rubesh, I did not tell any of my friends that you were going to propose me. I just told them that we will be spending some time together. The proposing they asked about was just a mockery”, she told me.
“Yeah, I know. I took it in the right sense, though I was a bit confused”, I replied.
Then, without warning, she reached for my hands and took them in hers and said “Rubesh, I am really very sorry if I have hurt you.  But... But... It’s just that I never thought about you like that. Please don’t feel anything bad. And I would really like to continue the kind of friendship we share”.
“Hey, it’s OK. It is all good with me. May be I will need some time to get over with this. But tomorrow I will be back to normal. And surely it isn’t going to affect our relation”, I replied.
“Thanks a lot, Rubesh. Have a safe journey. Call me up tomorrow. I’m really...” she started.
“Shut up! No more sorry. It makes me feel you are the one who proposed me”, I joked.
She smiled.
“You too have a safe journey. I will call you in the morning. You make sure you answer the call”, I told her.
She laughed and told “Sure, I will”.
She was really so beautiful.
“Good bye”, I told her.
“Bye”, she replied.
I got on into the bus. I was going home again. There is no other place better than home. A place you could return to and recover after going through anything. And that’s why I call it “Home SWEETEST Home”.
I went to seat number 18 and placed my bag on the overhead carrier and then sat down, dearly hoping that a girl would come and sit beside me.
Many people entered the bus, but none of them were to sit beside me. And enter!
“Yippee...!”


* * * THE END * * *

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